Continues with PART THREE of the Saga of Silliness that is
#OregonStandoffFind Part two here
Strange things are happening at the Bundy compound as we reach into the third week of Patriot occupation. Over the weekend various sub-Patriots drove up with supplies, not just snacks but sides of beef and beer as well. With their swollen numbers the boys decided to get bolshy and climbed up a utility pole to take out what they figured were Gub'mint spy cameras. They showed the cameras off to the milling crowds of reporters declaiming that this was just the sort of sneaky and underhanded thing the Obama does to keep honest God-fearing "Muricans (White only) under control. Locals did a side eye. As far as they knew the cameras had been there for years and were used to remote check a nearby electrical switching station.
Self-proclaimed US Superior Court Judge Bruce Doucette arrived with plans to set up Citizens' Grand Juries of 25 good and true Americans to try the local sheriff, judge, and anyone else they could think of--possibly that cute blonde--with being traitors to the Sovereign States of America. This is a self-propelled movement that believes that "We the People" in the Preamble to the US Constitution refers to them specifically and not just anyone who happens to holds a US passport. Sovereign Nation groups tend to be highly friable on account of differences of opinion as to specifically "who" is "we." This was evidently all in the FBI's plan as there was an unexpected thinning of the ranks of whom would be eligible to sit on the Grand Jury and the Patriots started asking local sympathizers for help.
Perhaps in retaliation, the local sheriff arrested one of the Patriots for unauthorized use of a government vehicle in the parking lot of the only grocery store for thirty miles. The Patriot in question turned out to have multiple outstanding warrants for a separate occupation of federal land in Colorado so that was a cinch. In any case two government vehicles were repossessed, the other driver had disappeared into the grocery store by the time the sheriff arrived so there was no legal case.
Meanwhile, excited by positive noises from the Trump Presidential campaign, Fluffy Unicorn leapt into his truck and headed off vaguely Eastwards to gather more true believers. Apparently he went from one Patriot radio station to another talking up the fun and patriotism to be had in Oregon until he was arrested in Maricopa County Arizona on many outstanding warrants. The tear-wiping irony of this is best explained by noting that the long serving sheriff of Maricopa County is Joe Arpaio, famously bigoted sadist who arrested Hispanic men women and children on the off chance that they might be illegal aliens then housed them in tents off in the desert where he fed them sandwiches. He is currently fighting in federal court for such activities plus the usual stuff--contempt of court, suborning perjury, attempted destruction of evidence, setting private investigators on the Judge and his wife, bribery, embezzlement (money saved with sandwiches allegedly went into the sheriff's pocket).
Your Ace reporter,